Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright

Back in the awesome 80’s when I actually watched ABC’s 20/20, correspondent John Stossel was pretty predictable. He would do a report on how some heartless corporation had created a product that was injuring and/or killing people all across the country. The answer to this situation was invariably some sort of government intervention.

But these days, Stossel is all libertarian and stuff, so he occasionally comes up with a solution for a problem that can catch you off guard. And by “catch you off guard” I mean stop and think “what the holy hell is he talking about?”. Case in point, his solution to the dwindling tiger population in China and Russia. While folks like Harrison Ford think the solution to tiger poaching is a ban on the sale of tiger products, Stossel thinks the answer is to let people eat tigers.

That’s right. In order to save the tigers, we must eat them.

When you get past the initial “whatchu talkin’ bout Willis” moment, his argument actually makes sense. A similar approach resulted in an increase in the numbers of bison in America. If you allow people to own and sell animals such as bison or tigers, they are going to have a much more vested interest in protecting their numbers. As a rule, people take better care of things they own. Having lived in campus housing during college, this seems pretty self evident to me.

Plus, there’s been a ban on the sale of tiger-derived products for over thirty years, and it hasn’t stopped the poaching. So maybe it’s time to try another approach.

As an added bonus, it provides another opportunity to create a bumper sticker mocking PETA. It could say “People Eating Tigers Aplenty” or maybe “People Eating Tigers. Awesome!”.

Or you could go for a more literary approach with:
Tiger, tiger take a bite.
Feels so wrong but
Tastes so right.


  1. So crazy it just might work!

    Also, I laughed out loud at your haiku. Good stuff!

  2. Thank you. Thank you very much.

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