What If Rock 'n Roll Really Is Noise Pollution?

Let’s say (for the sake of argument) that rock and roll is in fact noise pollution. Could one minimize the noise damage by purchasing the musical equivalent of carbon credits?

I’d say you could. I would call it a rock n’ roll toll (or rock ‘n rolla tolla if i was trying to sound more like Wolfman Jack). The theory behind the toll would be that by supporting musicians that produced soothing and calming music, you would minimize (or even reverse) some of the ruckus caused the devil’s music.

Some would argue that this is a silly idea and that rock music isn’t really a noise pollution threat. But people say similar things about global warming. And while global warming might cause disasters decades in the future, rock ‘n roll is probably annoying some folks RIGHT NOW! The threat is just too great to ignore, so we should really get on the ball and start buying musical offsets.

The question then turns to which acts would qualify as rock ‘n roll offsets. Folks like Enya, John Tesh, and Kenny G would make the list obviously. I would also vote for Paul Anka since he can even make “Smells Like Teen Spirit” relaxing. Anybody have any other suggestions?

1 Comment

  1. Norah Jones uber alles.

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